Rough House Hockey

[*Maloney]

I don´t know, great sight fur the fight game and whatnot, but christ on a bike, some of these FC characters are just too fucking whacky. They´re twistin´ my melon, man. I´ll jus a keep this thread alive for any and all Daily show commentary of these comic book cut outs on our beloved sistah site.

Maybe as the baby huey tub-a-lard Cheech would oink, "ya got too much time on yer hands," but then again, I don´t watch American Idol, so I´ll use some of those extra minutes I got floatin´ around fur my expert character analysis. Bwahahaha . . . too much fuckin´ time on me hands . . .

This is Maloney´s "childish" time, and Iz a think I´ll use it alllll up 'fore I git old and have to become an honest to goodness, salt of da earth, heroic adult and git me a real job down at one of dem nigro colleges down south.

. . . Before we go for commercial break, I´d like to take a sec to chide my humble self for ever having the gumption to hint that Jiz iz az a boring az they come. Grindingly boring. What da bloody fuck came over us? I iz a sowwy, Jiz. I just read yo last new thread and Iz a almost splilt me bloody coffee from so much excitement. I wuz jumpin´ about like I wuz a slippin´ on black ice.

PALESTINE, Texas - A routine package delivery turned into a milestone for a UPS driver in East Texas. Brent Boyd, 51, on Thursday surpassed one million miles on his UPS delivery truck, the same vehicle he's driven for 22 years with the company.

The odometer on Boyd's 1987 GMC truck rolled over to all zeros as he began his delivery route near Palestine. He said he's never had an accident with his company vehicle.

Boyd told The Associated Press that his truck's gone through at least three engines and been repainted several times.

But he's resisted offers for a new van. Boyd says the truck is "like home" and feels like "sitting in the recliner in your house."

Palestine is 105 miles southwest of Dallas.

Congrats Jiz on coming up with that one. And to think I had once thought you only drooled boring drivel. Keep on truckin´ Jiz.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[brianz]

Calling them adequate for a fight site is being nice....they're terrible for that. I mean, really bad.
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"Pitching is really just an internal struggle between pitcher and his stuff. If my curve ball is breaking and I'm throwing it where I want, the batter is irrelevant." - Steve Stone

www.bestpricenutrition.com

[*Maloney]

Oh come now, Johnz, give credit where credit is due. Let´s not be so mean spirited. Therez some brilliant hockeyfight brain power flowing over thar. Admit it. Ya got . . . da bowdog, slamb´d, da hammah, goldthorp, hairy steve durbano, espo, the i lub boobsmeister . . . to name a few off the top of me melon, and ya gotta hand it to thosz guyz, they know deh stuff and have been to da rink and around the block a few times. Now Johnz, be fair and tip yer hat.

Itz da other guyz ovah der who be fiddlin´ about with each other with their trousers dropped to their ankles that I be popping off about.

I realize you must be steaming with "Moderators" who reveal that Magnusson was the best of the Blackhawk pugilists, and who spout classly, genius stuff about you "fucking your dog Scotty to death" whilst hiding behind Mike´s skirt, but then again, what would you expect from a "Mod" who stickies a Request thread in his forum stating that he´s concerned about the level of discourse and wants it raised . . . yada yada yada." I guess the irony just flows like water off a chicken´s back on that board. It´s what makes him an effective mod and a respected poster. That and getting busted plagerizing in efforts to make himself sound smart. BTW, whatever happened to that thread where that mod got busted red handed plagerizing someone else´s discourse on Dostoyevski??? . . . you mean that great FC eraser was employed to save his phony ass? Ya don´t say? That´s a first.

But hey, at least he doesn´t bandy your name about as being a "pederast" or a "whore" in his raised level of discourse.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[brianz]

Actually, the good posters hardly EVER post, or have been chased off the site....Im serious. If Hammer, Espo, Bulldog, Steeveroonie, posted all the time, yes...you have some good reading every now and then, but they don;t.
hockeyfights is much better for that...I mean, football fields better then FC as...as a good poster said, "the inmates run the asylum there". And its true...the voices of the site are unfortunately not hockey knowledgeable, nor very good peop;le.
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"Pitching is really just an internal struggle between pitcher and his stuff. If my curve ball is breaking and I'm throwing it where I want, the batter is irrelevant." - Steve Stone

www.bestpricenutrition.com

[silentbob]

To be accurate it was Solzhenitsyn's Cancer Ward. Sorry to interupt, carry on.

[Sittler]

I like Dostoevsky (have read Crime and Punishment, The Idiot, and Brothers Karamazov) but have never read any Solzhenitsyn. Does anyone recall if those guys gave Cancer Ward a good or bad review?

[jay]

[silentbob]

I personally thought that "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch" was one of the best novels I've read but I couldn't get through "Cancer Ward."

[*Maloney]

I beg to differ, Bob. I liked Cancer Ward very much, especially the part where the patients garner a discussion on Lev Tolstoy. And the Life of Ivan D I got through but didn´t enjoy it so much. Seemed a bit wooden and rigid, and always had a sensation that I was freezing my butt off whilst delving through the pages.

In me younger buck days before I my brain became addled by so much alcohol and drugs and age and armenian autism, I actually wove me way through the whole goddamn Gulag Archipelago. A fucking brick that one, documenting the systematic terror of Stalin´s regime. 1000 pages of Stalin madness. Imagine the fury of Solzinitzn (sp). He goes to war against the Nazis for his motherland, and his Russian general was so inept he ended fucking everything up, and got basically their entire regiment killed or forced to surrender. And when the war is over, what does Stalin do? He´s says that these guys who surrendered were traitors (or as the cowering Gillt would squeak from the dark shadows, "traders"), and he ships the lot of returning soldiers from the German stalags directly to the Siberian Gulags. Ol´Alex went on a right rant against his stupid fucking inept general for getting them routed and for the jumbo sized insanity of Stalin for rewarding patriotic soldiers with a one way ticket to Siberia. What a fucked up world this can be!

As far as Doestoyevski, like Jay, I´ve gotten through the Bros Karamazov, coming away thinking this was the work of an absolutely mad genius. One of those books where I wasn´t the same person for having read it. Pure brillance. But it´s the only work of Fedor´s I´ve read, though there´s still time.

But gentlemen, gentlemen, please, this thread isn´t for smart guys talking about smart stuff, we´re gonna make those guys who don´t read these humongous works feel inadequate, forcing them to plagerize in an attempt to impress the pathetic likes of Tucker Motherfucker in order to win brownie points for knowledge of that literary world.

And Bob, I beg to differ once again. I´m certain it was Dostoyevski that this particular mod was busted plagerizing upon. But I wouldn´t be surprised if he´s done a number on somebody else to feign the appearance of reading Cancer Ward. Ya know, plagerizing is sort of a sickness. You do it once, and ya jus a keep a doing it. Ask that other mod over there with multi personalities, the guy´s a plagerizing machine. They even warned him to stop, but I guess he couldn´t help himself. I believe he at least killed off Karen. That was a good start.

But Bob, I will grant that you may be right and our humble narrator wrong. Too bad the thread was banished under the FC censorship act of 2005 or 6, otherwise we could just go back and check up on it, like under any other normal circumstance.

What say Sittler or Boultsie, was the said plagerism phony dealing with Fedor or Alexander? I suppose we can all agree that it was at least one of those commie Rusky writers, or pre commies as it may be in Fedor´s case.

Carry on, lads.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[silentbob]

You may be more right? But I'll let the words speak for themselves:

"Cancer Ward" - Aleksander Solzhenitsyn. The single best exploration I've ever read of the joy of living, the spectre of mortality, and the surprising synergy that's possible between the two. "An evil man threw tobacco in the rhesus monkey's eyes, and it went blind. Just like that." In context, that passage is chilling and heartbreaking at the same time.

"Crime and Punishment" - Dostoyevsky. Guilt is the subtlest, but ultimately the strongest of human emotions. The psychological interrogation scenes are brilliant.

VS


"Cancer Ward" - Aleksander Solzhenitsyn Outside of the obvious condemnation of the Soviet government, its a look at the joy of living, the heavy hand of death, and the surprising synergy that's possible between the two.


"Crime and Punishment” - Dostoyevsky. Guilt is the subtlest, but ultimately the strongest of human emotions. The psychological interrogation scenes are brilliant.

[*Maloney]

Good one, Bob. But . . . ummmmmmmm . . . I think I´ll let Sittler or Boultsie decide upon this one.

Good stuff though. That Rhesus monkey comment was the business. But to be honest (more honest than Upstain), we don´t recall any simians in Cancer Ward.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[silentbob]

What I meant by more right was that both books were mentioned, one "review" was word for word the other was just a little clipped. BTW, here are the source documents for my quotes:

http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=8504#post8504

http://www.hockey-fights.com/forum/showtopic.php?tid/281130

[*Maloney]

Yes, yes, yes, oh tub of lard, too much time on me feckin´ hands. I know, idle time is the devil´s fucking workshop . . . so I guess I´ll jus a pull me up a saw horse, take a load off me mind, prop up my tired dogs, and check out Lucifer and his minions tinkering around with saw and drills and sandpaper and stuff. I´m kinda curious about what these evil geezers fabricate in that vaunted workshop. Maybe I can learn a thing or two . . .

. . . wh-wh-what´s this? Am I reading this right? Piss on Jack Bauer, Piss on Chuckles Norris . . . Piss on Bjrobe? Who on god´s earth would piss on this geezer Bjrobe. Hard to find a nicer guy on the fight sites. Not even an immature cunt like my humble ol´ self would take a run at the Bjrobester. I might give him a bit of stick for baring a semblance to the defunct Tony Snow, but geeez, who´d have a go at Bj? What the fuck did he do to deserve the lash of a wicked tongue. I mean, who do such a thing . . .

THE DEVIL (pausing momentarily at his work on the drill press): Bob would.

MALONEY: Bob? Bob who?

THE DEVIL: That lame ass uptight granny church lady Bablands character over at FC?

MALONEY: You be shitty me, Lucy

THE DEVIL: Of course I´m not. I should know, I created him exactly for these kinds of tasks.

MALONEY: You created Badlands? . . . ok, yeah, I get it, Bad and lands . . . Badlands. Sounds reasonable.

THE DEVIL: Yes. You see, funny as it may seem, one day we had a spell of idol time in our own workshop, so me and a couple of my minions started jacking around and created this monster. We took the most annoying spinster granny you could ever imagine, combined her with Norman Bates, and then added a sizeable piece of shit into the mixture, and wah lah, we birthed that outrageous troll. Couldn´t stand him though. Nor my minions. He was such an irritating little whiny righteous bitch, that we booted his runny ass the fuck outta the workshop one time, and he landed amongst those poor saps over there on FC.

MALONEY: Woah, this is all starting to make perfect sense . . . one third unbearable spinster granny, one third Norman Bates, and one third a heapin´ helpin´ of putrid fecal matter . . . I can totally comprehend this scheme of things. I had to slap the whiny cunt down a few times meself during my mythical appearance on FC when he was yapping hogwash at our humble narrator, act like he was Queen Gonnerea . . . where the fuck did he get all that baseball know how?

THE DEVIL: It was all part of the package, Maloney. You see, it´s my favorite past time, along with gobbling up apple pie.

MALONEY: You really fucked us with that one, man. Definately not cool. The guy´s a right bleedin´ cunt? Thanks loads for pawning him off on us humans.

THE DEVIL: Bwahahaha! Part of my payback to that meddlin´ God geezer who´s been throwing a money wrench into my plans for earth.

MALONEY: Well, ya ain´t been doing half bad. But anyway, why the fucking fuck did this 1/3 spinster-1/3Norman Bates-1/3 piece of dump Bablands stooge have a go at Bjrobe?

THE DEVIL: Because the boy dared to exclaim: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig - what fucking stupid names. Track and Trig?

MALONEY: But Bj is absolutely correct. Those names suck . Who da fuck names their kid "Track?" And "Trig?" What´s that, short fur, trigger? That ought to get those twats Upton and Ipsick spinning into a "smiten" masterbatory frenzy.

THE DEVIL: Indeed it has. And you´re right on, those names are da kookiest crap I´ve ever heard of for a gaggle of offspring. Perfect names fur a brood of hippie jism. Thing is the twat who hatyched 'em is a gun toting hoo haw, married to a flake named Todd.

MALONEY: Todddd? The dude must me a shitfuck.

THE DEVIL: Correct you are. Who else would marry that bitch? I should know, she´s another one of my creations that we chucked the fuck outta here into the badlands of Alaska cause she was such an intolerable cunt.

MALONEY: So dude, Devil, what the fuck did Bj respond to babland´s uncalled for chastizing leg hump?

THE DEVIL: Didn´t say much, kind of hemmed and hawed, giving bablands further valor to dump on him some more:

Here´s what he first ejaculated:

bjrobe: When did you become such a bitter, annoying poster that adds little value to the site?

I used to enjoy your posts, but now have trouble stomaching them.

and then, with little resistance, school marm piece of shit bablands went on to lambast:

Not just this post...you've been chasing NYR around lately like a horny nun. LOL

I just don't remember you being so angry in your posts in the past.

MALONEY: Horny nun? Yer feckin´ joshing me. What a cunt!

THE DEVIL: I know. I no longer have control over the stupid assclown since we couldn´t stomach him any longer and booted his shit the fuck outta here. A pissy annoying bastardo, ain´t he?
And after such non existant indignation by our boy, Bj, the anal bablands generously let him off the church lady hook with a:

Good! This site needs the happy, relaxed bjrobe back

MALONEY: But why in christ´s name didn´t Bj tell this little righteous wonder bra cunt to stuff a tampon up his bleeding sandy vagina. I don´t get it. I know Bjs a nice geezer and all, but to not go ballistic with righteous indignation upon this bablands abomination is beyong all me ken. It does not compute. I´m at a loss fur words.

THE DEVIL: Yes, I must agree with you, Maloney. I went so far as to send one of my obnoxious cunty minions to pop up in minature size on Bjrobe´s shoulder and egg him on to let the fucking piece of shit have it, but to no avail. I too am at a loss for words.

He did however muster up the gumption to tell my other ungodly creation Fang, to:

Man, shut up! You're hands down the most annoying and bitter person here!

. . . after the vultureous Fang swooped by to crap on him one final time.

MALONEY: Yeah, I wish Bj woulda let babbylands have it with a two hander across the gulliver, but alas, it´s not to be. But there´s always a next time. Vengence is best served cold.

THE DEVIL: How right you are, oh wise one, Maloney. But I must get back to work, so stop mind fucking me. Yer liable to get a poke with my pitchfork before long, Maloney.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[brianz]

I wonder if that diamond face nerd of a pm hacker still makes open pleas for his site that once was! LOL....Funny thing is, there's a few posters on there who he thinks are in tight with him...and they e-mail me all the nonsense!! If the little man only knew what some of his MODS actually say about him! LOL...and one of them sent me the post from the plagiarist liar who gets posts deleted to erase his exploits, making fun of my dog dying! Thats what that site has, and personifies the type of poeple that are on there....and he can't understand why the sites shit, and will always be shit. Because the voices that are heard are no longer Bulldog, Steeveroonie, etc...its nonsense from people who are quite frankly lonely sociopaths who try to be mean, and think they;'re tough by being mean a thousand miles away. I could never say something about their family.....they're the lowly, friendless saps, so THEY should be called out, and thats it. Funny to see the minions who always chime in for approval...all the while having thier pm's looked at by the diamon faced shaped nerd with hair plugs protruding from the top of his pale forehead! LOL...Seriously, if that nerd knew those posters think he;'s the jackass he really is.
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"Pitching is really just an internal struggle between pitcher and his stuff. If my curve ball is breaking and I'm throwing it where I want, the batter is irrelevant." - Steve Stone

www.bestpricenutrition.com

[Axelinger]

I have no time for sites that indulge in a membership drive and bring aboard legions of idiots simply to pad their membership total so they can say, "Hey, look at us! We have the most members, so we must be the best!" Sacrificing quality for quantity is moronic, at best.
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Barry Bonds game-worn jockstraps available on E-Bay. Any takers?

[*Maloney]

GGGrrriiinnndddd axe grinder . . . grinddd
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[*Maloney]

Whilst saving all this precious time by not watching American Idol, Iz a come across this precious diddy: that special young geezer, the Seacrest kid, the one who MCs this fullfillment of time, American Idol . . . well it be that his idol growing up was that top forty cultural icon, Kasey Kasem. KASEY KASEM??!! Of course I wuz fucking gobsmacked. Who fucking idolizes this top forty chump, and voice of Shaggy? The American idol of Ryan Seacrest, an American boy who would come to manhood on American Idol, showcasing an odd penchant for cute, flirty banter with a tight T-shirted English cock.

What´s intriguing as well, this American idol or our American Idol MC, Mr. Kasey Kasem is actually, Kemal Amin Kasem, who has written a brochure published by the Arab-American Institute entitled "Arab-Americans: Making a Difference." He is in fact, a supporter of both Ralph Nader and Dennis Kucinich.

Is it sane for the MC of American Idol to be in the first place playing coy gay with Simon Calum, and secondly to have an American idol of Arab blood lines, a supporter of kooks like Nader and Kucinich, hailing from Detroit, Meeeechigan. Whoa, dude.

And what kind of a tubby puss would suggest an American idol format for choosing a moderator on a hockeyfight site? Are you fucking kidding me, chuckles? Didn´t the leg warmer tippy toed drama queen from da East Village, Gilly, pull off this "moderator idol" win.

It´s all making sense now, sparts buffs . . . and Iz a feelin´ queasy.

More interesting facts on the Seacrest kid´s American idol, Kemal Amin Kasem:

1) Prior to 1970, Kasem was a dog catcher in Rochester, New York; there he originally gained fame musically due to his extremely large eight track tape collection. Kasem achieved notoriety on local news stations for using this vast tape collection to entertain the dogs that he had captured.

Wild wild, wicked stuff.

2) Kasem is a prominent voice-over actor, most notably the voice of "Shaggy" in Hanna-Barbera's Scooby-Doo cartoons from 1969 onwards. He has done work for many other animated series, such as the voice of Robin, The Boy/Teen Wonder in the 1968 Batman cartoons and various versions of SuperFriends, the drummer Groove from The Cattanooga Cats (1969), Alexander Cabot III from Josie and the Pussycats (1970, 1972),

3) Known as a perfectionist in the studio, there are two known instances where Kasem lost his temper due to what he perceived as production errors and was fired when he assaulted one of the staff members during a recording for the show Batman where he played Robin. The most infamous incident was over a long-distance dedication involving a deceased dog; the lead-in music was felt to be too up-tempo for the moment, resulting in a profanity-laced tirade. The other had to do with the over explanation of the band U2, then relatively unknown to the mainstream audience. Both these moments have been displayed and satirized on websites such as YouTube. The latter incident was made into a song by the experimental music group Negativland in 1991 called "U2".

Kasey got fired from doing Robin´s voice on a Batman cartoon when he assaulted one of the staff members? You fucking kiddin´ me? Again, I´m on me knees babbling, "wil wild, wicked stuff."

Here´s Kasey´s "profanity laced tirade" over the up tempo U2 tune they dared play for the lead in to a canine eulogy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDYK2H0ldbo

And here be Negativland´s song dedicated to Seacrest´s idol Kasey, aptly called U2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6gPSSYxex0

4) Fantasies do come true: Kasem is best known by name as a music historian and disc jockey, most notably as host of the weekly American Top 40 radio program from 1970 to 1988, and again from March 1998 until January 10, 2004, when Ryan Seacrest succeeded him.

5) Kasem also appeared in an episode of ALF during the shows 4th season.

6) In the late 1970s, Kasem portrayed an actor who imitated Columbo and had a key role in the Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries two-part episodes: The Mystery of the Hollywood Phantom Part I & Part II.

Lucky motherfucker. Meanwhile all us real Hardy Boy groupies must sit around and bang away on fight sites and not acheive idol status for the Ryan Seacrest´s of the universe. It´s an unfair world.
Maloney. Deal with it, fruitcake.
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones

[brianz]

Speaking of creepy people...how come it'[s really not discussed how "Crazy eddie" and "Pagey" were caught being exactly the same person, yet the sick fuck played the father to die of cancer! That was one of the all time weird things ever....and yet, it never got called out! LOL....yet guys like Hike, who's a GOOD guy and knowledgeable poster, takes crap from Mike, etc...and Pagey fakes a dads death and everyone acts like its no big deal. Weird stuff.
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"Pitching is really just an internal struggle between pitcher and his stuff. If my curve ball is breaking and I'm throwing it where I want, the batter is irrelevant." - Steve Stone

www.bestpricenutrition.com

[boulton]

I love the cagey Renard who was "thinking of voting for Obama," but after reading on a daily basis every extreme right webpage since 2000, he's now thinking of voting for McCain.

Man, is he slick! What a giant sack of shit!

NYRfan is rock dumb, but at least he doesn't play this peek-a-boo bullshit.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pko_dABNcc8

[*Maloney]

I love that phoney Renard when he says cute shit like: Well played, sir.

Sean Hannity´s #1 fan on FC. But boy is he coy.

. . . Crazydeady? . . . sshhh!
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Sticks and stones and weed and bones